Here I sit, surrounded by boxes piled high; everything that
has helped me survive this year stuffed into 3’x2’ plastic bins. Books,
clothing, pens, paper, photographs, and the like...they’ve brought me
happiness, adventure, knowledge, curiosity, stress and tears. But these
‘things’ seem insignificant as I ponder my year and what I’ve learned, because
the fact that they lay out of reach, piled under rubbish and junk, makes no
difference at all. My experiences surpass any purchases and any 1050 page
textbook I own that sit in those boxes.
It’s hard to put into words the amount that I have learned
this year, through the countless new experiences I have faced. I don’t think
it’s something that can be explained in a few words – I don’t think it’s
something anyone but me can truly grasp, no matter how hard I can explain. The
hardest experiences are those that taught me the most. The times in the year
where I felt I was climbing a 90 degree mountain with no place for my hands to
grasp – when I felt I wasn’t moving any farther up that slope no matter how
hard I pushed, but if I gave up, the fall would be even harder. Those trying
times forced me to cope any way I could, and convincing myself I would get
through it was the hardest part. But, there was a phrase that I used with quite
a few things - You’re more than * insert
noun here *.
1)
You’re
more than that grade on that test.
You go to every class, do every
suggested homework problem (twice), make colour-coded notes and study day and
night surviving on a coffee and a bagel. You get your mark back – What the fuck?! How is it even possible
to put so much effort and time into something, whether it be an essay or an
exam, and come out with nothing to prove it. Nothing that convinces you it was
all worth it. You’re disappointed and mad at yourself for not coming through in
the end. Doubting your own knowledge and the study methods used, you become
very hard on yourself. But... you’re more
than that grade on that test. Don’t let that grade dictate your emotions
and your happiness from that point onwards. Instead, let your drive and
determination dictate the next grade you will get on a test. Let this be an
opportunity to take a look at what you can improve on. A grade is a number – it
does not equate to your passion for that course or the knowledge you truly
gained throughout the study process or the research process of an essay. If
your passion and drive outweigh the power of a 2-digit number, you can get past
it.
2)
You’re
worth more than a monopoly piece – don’t settle to be used as one.
Some people have their own game in mind –
playing it according to their rules, and stringing you along for the ride. If
lying and cheating has earned someone control over your emotions, something is
seriously wrong. You’re not a game piece – you deserve more respect, truth and
kindness than a piece of plastic. And let’s be honest, your standards are way
higher than someone who would even think to treat anyone like that. You’re
worth a whole lot more, and with time, you'll come to realize it.
3)
You’re
more than your school work...at 3:00am (believe it or not)
You need your sleep...sleep is a wonderful
thing. It can make the difference between enjoying what you are doing and
dreading getting out of bed and sitting in class. In my personal opinion, I have
to believe that you’re more productive with some good shut-eye and a little
dreaming here and there. Where would we be without dreams?
4)
You’re
capable of more than you give yourself credit for.
University is not easy, but let’s
be honest, we all knew that when we signed up for it. But when you put your
mind to something, you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish. Whether it’s an
assignment, making friends or getting involved. We’re all told that by our
parents, but I don’t think it’s ever something we accept, even though we know
it’s true. We become our own worst enemy, our hardest judges and strongest
critics – I know this from first-hand experience. When you drive a car, you’re
told to look where you want to go, because you steer the car where you are
looking. Think of it as driving your success. If you believe in your skills,
you can only strive for more. One thing I try to do, sometimes without success,
is to look at the glass half full – the juice is much sweeter that way.
I could go on, but those are just a few that have run
through my mind during this crazy year. I could really go on for ages about my
experiences, but I feel that everyone has experienced their own triumphs and
tragedies that seem like the be-all-end-all in their own mind. For now, I can
unpack these boxes with odds and ends that I’ve built up over the year in my
new apartment with some of my best friends. I have a very busy summer ahead,
which is okay for me – I get uncomfortable when I have nothing to do. So here’s
to making the most of my first summer in the city, creating experiences,
meeting new people and enjoying the mini break from school. Who would have
known that Toronto was so much more than just U of T – not U of T students,
that’s for sure.
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| Books and books and books. Chemistry library (AD Allen), University of Toronto |
